silver and silent rushing on.

i've never been good with words
but i'd like to tell you that the thought of your skin touching mine makes the hairs on my arms stand on edge
and that your voice was made of mothers' lullaby's as their children smiled and drifted to sleep
i'd tell you that the smell of your hair makes me dizzy and giddy
i don't smile much, but i'd wear a smile every day if the wind blew the scent of your hair in my direction
i'd also like to tell you that that your lips kissing my cheek makes explosions in my hands
it's a war. and i don't care who wins because the explosions and the bombs make my heart pump twice the blood
and the blood that runs through my body runs on adrenaline 
adrenaline that makes me feel invincible
adrenaline that makes me want to run away to you, with you, by you
did i tell you that i want to kiss your forehead every morning and take off your shoes at night?
that the mere thought of your face resting on my pillow makes me want to break every bad habit
that i'd give up cigarettes and alcohol
i'd give up meat
i'd give up sex
i'd stop biting my nails and cracking my jaw and knuckles
have i told you that i want you to break my heart?
i want to stay up all night and write about you
i want you to be the reason i stay up all night writing
have i told you i want you to fall in love with me?
i want to write about you all summer
and in spring,  i want to write about how we met in autumn and fell in love in winter
how the only clothing we needed was eachother's arms
how the only thing we wanted was eachother's warmth
i've never been good with words, but if i was, i'd write books about your voice and how much i miss it
how it always sent me on a euphoria and the withdrawals i'm having from you not being here have been fatal
if you're reading this, it's probably about you.