a heart like a socket you can plug into at will.

i would have loved to have seen you pregnant

to watch as your belly grew and stretched

i would have loved to have been there at your beck and call with cravings

"i want something spicy"

sure, babe, i'll go get you something

i wanted to hand feed you my french fries

to listen to the crunch while you chewed and taste the salt on your lips

i wanted you to come to me after work after a long day

to sit on my bed exhausted and have me take off your boots

to see you smile as your feet are finally free

i wanted to braid your hair before we went to sleep

and find the hair tie in our bed

i wanted to lay tangled in our limbs and tangling our tongues

fucking until our bodies just couldn't anymore

to spoon in bed until the sun rose

i wanted to wash your dirty underwear, your dirty everything

i'd pick up your dry cleaning

i wanted to watch your daughter grow with us

us three as a family

to take her to school the days that you couldn't

to watch you two fall asleep as we stayed up late watching a movie

i loved you

i would have loved you my whole life

and sometimes i think i always will

i'm sorry, it's day 3 of not being able to get you out of my mind.