haiku about Elizabeth.

Elizabeth, you're

still the most memorable

kiss, deep in my heart

Elizabeth, you were born to play that part.

I haven't been this confused in some time. I feel like things are typically, not straightforward, but rather clear when it comes to girls in my life. I finally went down on the girl i craved for years and it was amazing. Yet, you tonguing the roof of my mouth is much more present than the pussy i ate for an hour. 

I can't understand how things as intimate as holding hands means nothing to some people. I have held hands with a handful and i was not expecting you to hold mine but you did. And now i sit in the nook of my bed, surrounded by pillows, thinking if holding hands even means anything to you. I think about your hands every day. And i wish i had the courage to give you shit for leaving me so confused about something that was supposed to be a walk in the park. This, to me, has turned into dungeons and dragons and i am sure i am sinking with every text you don't send me; and even more so with the ones you do.

I do have to say, i loved holding hands. It had been so long. I hadn't felt wanted in a very long time and you made me feel wanted; if only for one night. I think about your neck often. And that freckle i want to make friends with mine. I think about your kisses and i get this jolt of electricity on my ribcage that makes me jump. And i am thankful for the affection you gave me. It felt so real. I am now craving you playing with my hair. And your nails gently running up and down my arms. And i am aching for your affection. Nothing has felt realer to me in two years than our hands intertwined together and our lips locked like if this was the last time we would kiss.

I now understand.

But i'm still so confused.