to you, once again.

i woke up this morning all out of sorts, confounded by the stories my mind makes up in my dreams. i can't get away from you even in my sleep. and the thing is, i don't dream with you often, i can probably count the times you've appeared in my dreams with my fingers; but when i do, it feels so real. i woke up short of breath with a heart beating so fast i couldn't catch up with my thoughts. you were here, and you were so real. you came down to san diego with your daughter and you were upset about "our" situation but happy to be here and fuck, man. you cried and i hugged you and i can feel your small body in my arms. and i can hear you crying and talking and it's all too real but it really isn't. i wish i could write something beautiful about this but i'm still all out of sorts. i just know that this dream is gonna consume me for the rest of the day and there's nothing much i can say about this. but i miss you. and i hope you're well.